Southbank – Tourist Trap and Full of Crap? (Part 2)

Smack-bang under Southbank Cinemas is a place that is a must to try if you’re a fan of hot chocolate, coffee, tea, herbal tea, or iced versions of any of the above… or, for that matter, of homewares and timber furniture. Batavia, run by the very friendly Cindy Walker, is a strange but engaging combination of Fair Trade homewares shop and Tea Salon.

The Tea Salon

Batavia specifically styles its food and drink section as a ‘Tea Salon’, rather than a cafe. Patrons are encouraged to relax, socialise, and have some fun. Boardgames are available, or you can bring your own. Obviously, during peak business periods it would probably be appreciated if you weren’t quite as leisurely.

Drinks

The prices will seem steep on first perusal of the menu. But there’s a good reason for that. Most cafes will serve you a hot mocha in a glass or mug. Batavia serves you an entire tray:

(note: that ‘teacup’ is, in fact, almost soup-mug sized)

The jugs for a hot mocha (pictured) contain hot chocolate, hot brewed coffee, and milk. While the ingredients for each drink obviously differ, they’re all generously proportioned. A couple include a mound of icecream nearly filling said soup mug. If you’re just a bit peckish, you may find that one of these mugs is all you need.

Teas are high quality, and there are some exquisite and unusual offerings.

Food

Batavia’s food menu consists of fairly common cafe items – cake, biscuits, focaccias, soup. However, they all have the distinctive Batavia twist that turns them into something special. There are several options available when ordering a slice of cake – from just the cake to icecream, handmade chocolates and biscuits in accompaniment. Beware – the largest option is an extremely sweet meal in itself.

I have one perennial favourite dish at Batavia – the biscuits. They’re served on a very swish serving dish (designed to fit around the huge trays for the drinks – clever eh?) with a bowl of chocolate dipping sauce. Decadence. *drooool*

Wares

Batavia sell all sorts of stuff. Most eye-catching are the pieces of solid timber furniture – they range from gorgeous to gorgeous and comfortable. As I mentioned earlier, it’s all Fair Trade, meaning that the craftspeople producing it actually got a decent price for their work. Cushion covers, scarves, journals, vases and jewellery are just some of the items you’ll find in here.

They also sell the teas served in the Tea Salon.

Doing the Trendy in Milton

I must admit that when I first moved to Brisbane, I was shocked at what rates as a ‘trendy cafe spot’. I heard about Park Rd in Milton and expected… umm, lots of nice-looking, trendy cafes and restaurants. Instead, I found 4 cafes (one of them a Coffee Club, for crying out loud!) and a miniature Eiffel Tower. Oh, and some highly-priced stores selling truly hideous clothes.

Ten years later, I’ve acclimatised a bit. The Eiffel Tower is kinda cute, especially at night. And night’s when this little street starts popping. Loud music, fairy lights… the grime and faded paint are hidden and it all looks almost classy.

If you come here in the early morning, you’ll be dodging cyclists galore. I’m not sure where they come from, but they all end their pre-work rides at one or two cafes, lounging around sipping coffee with their padded groins prominently displayed.

During the day, this area seems incredibly popular with mothers of small children. Presumably fairly cashed-up mums, as they’re typically pushing a Bugaboo or top-of-the-line jogger pram. I think they’re a little nuts – trying to walk along the footpath is hard enough without pushing a pram. Not to mention the parking issues – but each to their own, eh?

Parking

If I could make one recommendation that you’d listen to, it’d be – don’t. Don’t even try. There’s a bare minimum of street parking, which is usually filled by 8am. The streets are filled with people maundering around the block for ‘one last try’ and driving like absolute imbeciles because they’re so flipping bored and stressed. It’s only a matter of time before car insurers start inserting ‘not valid in Milton’ into the fine print. It’s that bad. If you can possibly bring yourself to it, do us all a favour and take public transport. Milton train station is a very short walk, and buses stop on Coronation Drive (river end of Park Rd) and Milton Rd (other end).

The Coffee

I’ll admit it right now – when it comes to Milton I’m a Hot Mocha fan. Mostly because they’re really, really hard to stuff up. But my more adventurous friends assure me that all the cafes in this strip do a nice coffee. I wouldn’t consider them top of the line, by any means – but they’re nice, not burnt, not bitter. The Coffee Club probably rates somewhere near the bottom in this category. Surprisingly, one of the best coffees I’ve had in Milton came from a little sandwich shop down Railway Street called Niftys. Go figure.

The Hot Chocolate

One of these cafes – La Dolce Vita – does a reputedly fantastic italian hot chocolate. I say ‘reputedly’, because I don’t drink milk. And these babies are made the proper way, with chocolate melted into milk. Full of fat, but frankly, if you’re watching your weight that much you shouldn’t be drinking hot chocolate anyhow. Right?

The Food

I’m a vegetarian. No apologies or shame. So if you’re looking for steak recommendations, you’ve come to the wrong damn blog.

For a vegetarian, the choices aren’t too bad. Even if you don’t like cheese. Here are my recommendations:

The Taste of Kashmir. This is a fairly new addition, and I hope it’ll survive. While its food is tasty and well-priced, it’s located in the bad-luck-central building where nothing seems to do well. The Aloo Patak is to die for.

The Coffee Club do a very nice Roast Pumpkin and Spinach salad.

Arrivederci Pizza across the road have some vegetarian options. Fairly boring and predictable ones. They’re pricey, but then so is most of the street.

The sushi place has the standard vegetarian options – avocado rolls, inari, spring rolls. Uninspired, but relatively cheap.

Wander across Milton Rd and down to the Spice Market. Yes, they do sell spices. They also sell big, filling asian dishes. Their food is the sort you eat when you want something decent and fairly cheap. Nowhere near top nosh, but good for the price. The service is possibly the best in Milton.

Niftys do down-to-earth, standard Aussie lunch type tucker. That means sandwiches, burgers (including a vegie burger) and fried food. For the area, they’re cheap. And the sandwich proportions are generous – you don’t get the impression that the slices of various foods are audited at the end of the day and staff warned if they’ve been ‘overly generous’. Four slices of tomato on a sandwich, for example.

Unexpected Sights

For the history buffs amongst us, there’s a historic building nestled away between Coronation Drive and Park Rd. John McDougall – who at one point owned most of the inner western suburbs (Indooroopilly etc) – bought the house from a chemist who’d had it built the year before. This is a gorgeous old house, but I’m yet to discover if the public can actually get into it. See its heritage listing for more information.

Milton House can be found at 52 McDougall St. Right next to the tennis court is a path through the garden, created by the many people who work in the complex (King’s Row). Unless there’s a function on, visiting is unlikely to be a problem.

Map